Since 2003, the Comedy Central cable TV network has produced and televised a number of celebrity “roast” specials. On Labor Day evening in 2016, it televised a “roast” of famous film and television actor Rob Lowe that was originally recorded on August 27, 2016. However, the roast quickly became a vicious, hateful attack of one of the other roasters–conservative pundit, author of twelve (12) New York Times Best Selling non-fiction books, and unflappable Donald Trump-for-President proponent, Ann Coulter. (The roast occurred approximately two months prior to the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election.)
During the course of the evening, Ms. Coulter was called a “cunt” nineteen (19) different times (along with many other vicious slurs) by a number of the other roasters! However, Comedy Central has since expunged all but one of those vicious slurs (as well as many others) from the video of the roast it offers on its website. (Interestingly, it appears that many of the major news articles about the roast have also expunged all but the first one in which comedian and Saturday Night Live cast member, Pete Davidson, calls Ms. Coulter a “cunt.”)
The Roast Master for the evening was famous comedian and former Saturday Night Live cast member David Spade. The other roasters were (in order of appearance) Davidson; comedian and former U.S. Marine pilot Rob Riggle; singer-songwriter Jewel; British comedian Jimmy Carr; former NFL quarterback Peyton Manning; comedian and former cable talk show host Nikki Glaser; actor and co-star of The Karate Kid movie franchise Ralph Macchio; Ann Coulter; comedian and proclaimed “Roastmaster General” Jeff Ross; and Rob Lowe. Comedian, actress, and former Saturday Night Live cast member Amy Poehler appeared in a pre-recorded segment with Lowe.
Other notable audience members were Maria Shriver, Patrick Schwarzenegger, Nick Swardson, Fred Savage, Chad Lowe, Kate Walsh, Robbie Williams, Brandon Flowers, Marlee Matlin, Madison Sinclair, Jason Stuart, Matt Ingebretson, Sinead D’arcy, Stan Rodarte, and Rob Lowe’s wife, Sheryl Berkoff. They all tacitly condoned the vicious attacks on Ms. Coulter by not speaking up or walking out of the venue.
Here are links to some news articles about the roast/attack on Ms. Coulter:
From editor Jim Hoft of The Gateway Pundit: “Ann Coulter Attends Roast of Rob Lowe – Hollywood Elites Call Her a C*nt 19 Times“.
From Ian Schwartz of Real Clear Politics: “Coulter at Rob Lowe Roast: It’s Nice to Be at a Celebrity Shindig That Isn’t a Clinton Fundraiser“.
On Reddit.com’s subreddit “The Donald”: “Ann Coulter was called a ‘Cunt’ 19 times . . .”
From Kaitlan Collins of The Daily Caller: “Ann Coulter Left Speechless After Being Told to ‘Kill Herself’ at Rob Lowe Roast“.
From The Daily Mail: “Ann Coulter Hits Back at Comedy Central After . . .”
The following are some of the vicious remarks directed toward Ms. Coulter that I transcribed from the sanitized version of the roast offered on Comedy Central’s website. I will be adding the expunged remarks as I find them. Ones that have been expunged are in parentheses. If you have access to any of the original vicious remarks, please share them with me in the form on my About/Contact page so that I can include them here.
The opening credits began by describing Ms. Coulter as “Ann-the intelligent-Coulter”, but changed it to “Ann- the way less intelligent-Coulter.”
In his opening monologue, Roast Master David Spade said of Pete Davidson, “Is Pete white? Is he black? Ann Coulter needs to know so she can decide if she hates him.”
During his piece, Pete Davidson said “Ann Coulter is here. Ann, if you’re here who’s scaring the crows away from our crops? You know, Ann describes herself as a polemicist, but most people call her a ‘cunt’!” (He then muttered “A racist cunt!” under his breath.) “You know, last year we had Martha Stewart who sells sheets and now we have Ann Coulter who cuts eye holes in them!” (“Ann Coulter and no black people? What are we roasting? A cross?” [From EW.com])
Rob Riggle said “Holy shit! Is that Ann Coulter? Ann Coulter is here, which can mean only one thing–someone must have said her name three times ‘Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice’!” Later, he said “Fun fact: Ann Coulter has a big, angry bush. No joke, that’s just a fun fact.” With respect to Rob Lowe in the movie “Killing Kennedy,” he said “Grassy knoll! But not as grassy as Ann Coulter’s big, angry bush!” Then he said, “Rob Lowe has literally had sex with everyone in this room, except for Ann Coulter because her bush is literally too angry! Yes! It’s a three-peat! They said I couldn’t do it, but I did it! I nailed Ann Coulter’s bush three times!”
At the beginning of her piece, Jewel said, “I do want to say, first of all, as a feminist, I can’t support everything that’s being said up here tonight. But as somebody who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.” Later on, she said “Jeff Ross is going to party like it’s 1999. Ann Coulter is going to vote like it’s 1899! Ann, you do look great, though. You’re almost as thin as Donald Trump’s chance of winning the election. Actually, you wouldn’t believe this. It’s really a small world because last week I was behind Ann Coulter in line at Chipotle and she ordered something to go–the entire kitchen staff. She was like ‘Leave. The country. What’s weird is, believe it or not, gay men love Ann Coulter. It’s because, two minutes into hearing her speak, they remember why they hate pussy.”
Jimmy Carr said, “Ann Coulter. Here we go. Ann Coulter is one of the of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-faced bitches alive. But it’s not too late to change, Ann. You could kill yourself. Ann Coulter looks so much like a truck stop transvestite whore that I saw Jeff Ross run to an ATM just before the show! Ann Coulter’s pussy . . . (To Ann) Seriously, this gets classy. Ann Coulter’s pussy is now so old and dry that it just got a job drawing cartoons for The New Yorker.”
Peyton Manning said, “Wow, I just realized that I’m not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know, earlier this year Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby. Congrats on that, Ann. Great job.”
Nikki Glaser said, “And without fuhrer adieu, Ann Coulter. Oh Ann, what’s it like to be like a real-life super villain? You know, like, I’d ask you how you sleep at night, but I’d assume just upside down in a robe of 101 dalmatians! Ann Coulter has written 11 books. Twelve if you count Mein Kampf. Yes. Ann’s been called things like a racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, a white supremacist, and that’s just while getting plowed by Bill Maher! The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave!” Later on as she was speaking about the Holocaust, she said, “Don’t be mad. At least I acknowledge the Holocaust. Ann doesn’t even think it happened.” (“God, it’s white up here. It’s the only way we could get Ann Coulter, though.” [From EW.com])
Ralph Macchio said, “Ann Coulter, I’m glad to see you here, Ann. You know, I respect you. You’re the one female commentator who’s not afraid to stand up–to take a leak!”
During his introduction of Ann Coulter, David Spade said, “All right, guys. And now a real treat for fans of hate-watching. Ann Coulter’s coming up. Ann hopes the Republicans can hold on to the House so she can continue to haunt it. She seems stiff and conservative, but Ann gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the Klan. It looks like she’s having a good time. I haven’t seen you laugh this hard since Trayvon Martin got shot! Please welcome Ann Coulter!”
Ms. Coulter was next. (Her set got somewhat awkward when the teleprompter stopped working and Coulter had to ask repeatedly what the issue was with the person working the device. [From The Hollywood Reporter.])
Jeff Ross said during his piece, “Ann, what happened? You wrote eleven books, but you couldn’t write a single fucking joke? Ann wants to help Trump make America great again. You can start by wearing a burka! Ann, you have a face that would make doves cry! You’re very beautiful, actually. You’re like a modern-day Eva Braun! Oh, this is hard for a roast. How do I roast somebody from Hell? (Ann, you are the only woman ever to sexually harass Roger Ailes. [From EW.com]) Bitch! Oh, and that voice. (Makes guttural sounds.) It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard inside an inner city school you want to defund! Don’t stare at me with that roasting bitch-face! Ann’s against gay marriage. What’s your thinking on that? ‘If I can’t get a husband, they shouldn’t either?”
When it was finally Rob Lowe’s turn, he said “It’s fifty-six days ’til Halloween, but I see that Ann Coulter is already in her skeleton costume! People ask, ‘why Ann Coulter is here, tonight?’ Answer: Because the right-to-lifers wanted everyone to see what an abortion looks like up close.” And you know, Ann, after seeing your set tonight, I think we’ve all witnessed the first bombing that you can’t blame on a Muslim!” Later on, he described his roasters as mutants. Then he said, “I’m sorry, Ann. Racist mutants!” (“Ann has never had kids. She is so anti-immigration, her vagina won’t allow anymore in the country.” [From EW.com])
(Following the roast, Lowe was asked by reporters why Coulter was a part of the dais.”I think the best daises are daises where you’re like, ‘What the f—,'” Lowe said. [From The Hollywood Reporter.])
Below is the Contact information for Comedy Central and for each of the “roasters” in case anyone would like to share their feelings with them. I would also encourage you to boycott performances and products produced by them and encourage others to boycott them as well.
Comedy Central’s email address is firstname.lastname@example.org
David Spade’s Twitter is @DavidSpade; his Instagram is davidspade; his website DavidSpade.com redirects to his Facebook page;
Pete Davidson’s Instagram is: petedavidson; Saturday Night Live‘s Twitter is @nbcsnl; Saturday Night Live‘s website is at NBC.com/Saturday-Night-Live; Saturday Night Live‘s Facebook page is SNL.
Rob Riggle’s Twitter is @RobRiggle; his Instagram is robriggle; his website is RobRiggle.com; his Facebook page is RobRiggle.
Jewel’s Twitter is @Jeweljk; her email address is by the form on her website or email@example.com; her Instagram is Jewel; her Facebook is JewelJK.
Jimmy Carr’s Twitter is @JimmyCarr; his website is JimmyCarr.com; his Facebook is JimmyCarr; his Instagram is JimmyCarrFans.
Peyton Manning: I haven’t been able find any contact information for him, yet. He was not that vicious toward Ms. Coulter, but he didn’t do anything to defend her, either.
Nikki Glaser’s Twitter is @NikkiGlaser; this is the Contact Form on her website; her Facebook is OfficialNikkiGlaser; her Instagram is NikkiGlaser.
Ralph Macchio’s Twitter is @RalphMacchio; his Facebook is RalphMacchio; his Instagram is Ralph_Macchio; his IMDb is here.
Jeff Ross’ Twitter is @RealJeffreyRoss; his email is RoastmasterGeneral@gmail.com; his Instagram is TheRealJeffreyRoss; his Facebook is RoastmasterGeneral.
Rob Lowe’s Twitter is @RobLowe; his Instagram is RobLoweOfficial; his Facebook is RobLoweOfficial; his IMDb is here.
The following is some of the contact information for some of the notable audience members who condoned the vicious attacks on Ms. Coulter by not speaking up or walking out of the venue:
Maria Shriver’s Twitter is @mariashriver; her email address is info@MariaShriver.com; her Facebook is Maria Shriver; her Instagram is MariaShriver.
Patrick Schwarzenegger’s Twitter is Patrick Shriver; his Facebook is Patrick Schwarzenegger; his Instagram is PatrickSchwarzenegger;
Nick Swardson’s Twitter is @NickSwardson; his Facebook is Nick Swardson Comedy; his Instagram is RealNickSwardson.
Fred Savage’s Twitter is @TheFredSavage; his Instagram is TheFredSavage; his IMDb is Fred Savage; his Facebook is Fred Savage.
Chad Lowe’s Twitter is @ChadLowe; his Instagram is IChadLowe; his IMDb is Chad Lowe;
Kate Walsh’s Twitter is @KateWalsh; her Facebook is WalskKate; her Instagram is KateWalsh; her email address is here.
Robbie Williams’ Twitter is @RobbieWilliams; his Facebook is Robbie Williams; his Instagram is RobbieWilliams; his website is RobbieWilliams.com.
Brandon Flowers’ Twitter is @BrandonFlowers; his Facebook is Brandon Flowers; his Instagram is BrandonFlowers; his website is BrandonFlowersMusic.com.
Marlee Matlin’s Twitter is @MarleeMatlin; her Instagram is TheMarleeMatlin; her Facebook is MarleeMatlin; the contact information on her website is at MarleeMatlin.net.
Madison Sinclair’s Twitter is @MaddSinclair; her email address is MadisonSinclairComedy@gmail.com; her Facebook is Madison Sinclair; her Instagram is MadisonSinclair.
Jason Stuart’s Twitter is @Jason_Stuart; his Facebook is Jason Stuart Too; his Instagram is TheJasonStuart; his website contact information is here.
Matt Ingebretson’s Twitter is @MattIngebretson; his Facebook is Matt Ingebretson; his Instagram is MattIngebretson; his website email form is here.
Sinead D’arcy’s Twitter is @Sinead_Darcy; her Facebook is Sinead D’arcy; her Instagram is Sinead_Darcy; her website is SineadDarcy.Weebly.com.
Stan Rodarte’s email address is this Contact Form on his website or StanRodarte@gmail.com; his IMDb is here.
Rob Lowe’s wife, Sheryl Berkoff (Lowe’s) Twitter is @Sheryllowe61; her Facebook is here; her Instagram is MonkeyGirl61; the Contact Form on her website, SherylLoweJewelry.com, is here; her IMDb is here.
Copyright © 2018 Steven A. Swan